Satire is primarily a literary genre or form, although in practice it can also be found in the graphic and performing arts. In satire, vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, and society itself, into improvement.[1] Although satire is usually meant to be funny, its greater purpose is constructive social criticism, using wit as a weapon.
A common feature of satire is strong irony or sarcasm—"in satire, irony is militant"[2]—but parody, burlesque, exaggeration, juxtaposition, comparison, analogy, and double entendre are all frequently used in satirical speech and writing. This "militant" irony or sarcasm often professes to approve (or at least accept as natural) the very things the satirist wishes to attack.
( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire)
Satire is nowadays found in many artistic forms of expression, including literature, plays, commentary, and media such as lyrics.
A common feature of satire is strong irony or sarcasm—"in satire, irony is militant"[2]—but parody, burlesque, exaggeration, juxtaposition, comparison, analogy, and double entendre are all frequently used in satirical speech and writing. This "militant" irony or sarcasm often professes to approve (or at least accept as natural) the very things the satirist wishes to attack.
( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire)
Satire is nowadays found in many artistic forms of expression, including literature, plays, commentary, and media such as lyrics.
Below you will find five cartoons, three American satirical articles and two British. On a separate sheet of paper, please write a sentence- or two- that explains what is being satirized either in the cartoons or the articles. That's ten sentences! Thank you. Please turn them in at the close of class.
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Boy Believed To Be Next Reincarnation Of Regional KFC Manager Discovered In Chatfield, MN
LOUISVILLE, KY—According to sources at the corporate headquarters of fast food giant KFC, a young boy believed to be the third reincarnation of the chain's regional manager for eastern Georgia was discovered in Chatfield, MN Tuesday following an exhaustive five-year search.
The Chosen One, kindergartner Brian Thorson, was located by a special council of seven High Branch Managers selected from the most profitable KFC restaurants nationwide. In accordance with tradition, the boy will henceforth be known as Roger Purcell, the ceremonial title given to all who have previously overseen operations in eastern Georgia.
His Eminence Dan Orman, who supervises the Wilshire Boulevard franchise in downtown Los Angeles, told reporters the search for the reborn manager began Jan. 23, 2005, when the previous Roger Purcell died of a massive heart attack.
"We watched carefully to see which direction the winds would take the smoke billowing forth from the fryer exhaust fan at the Waycross, GA location," said Orman, whose council set out on a long Midwestern journey after receiving the sign. "We interviewed hundreds of boys born that Jan. 23, but only Brian possessed a preternatural knowledge of the average monthly napkin orders generally needed for the six restaurants he will soon oversee."
"Rejoice, for before us is he who is destined to give guidance and impart wisdom to all who work at KFC locations east of Macon!" Orman added.
Several High Branch Mangers confirmed the child was subjected to a battery of tests to determine if he was in fact the reincarnated supervisor of restaurants 234 through 239. As with all candidates, Brian was seated at a table and asked to choose from a wide array of objects, including a stapler, a stained necktie, a spork, and various other personal effects.
Orman told reporters the young boy's hand moved immediately to a spray can of Right Guard, the sole item before him that had in fact belonged to the last Roger Purcell.
"Brian also picked up the rubber stamp used to approve payroll as if he had been handling it his entire life," Orman said. "After he recited without hesitation each of the 11 herbs and spices in the colonel's secret recipe, there could not be any doubt left in my mind."
According to sacred interoffice memos, the first earthly embodiment of Roger Purcell was born Jim Stephens in 1957. The son of a simple insurance salesman, Stephens was discovered by emissaries traveling east on behalf of company founder Colonel Harland Sanders, who in 1960 had a dream-vision of a glimmering red-and-white Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise by the sea.
When the young Stephens was found on the Georgia shore selling buckets of biscuits for a nickel, Sanders ordered the prophesied restaurant be built on the spot and soon added biscuits as a menu item.
Like the incarnations before him, the new Roger Purcell has been taken from his family and sequestered in a regional training facility to receive instruction on how to implement revised conduct codes and limited-time-only promotions handed down from corporate. While there, KFC officials confirmed, he will be adorned in the traditional vestments of Dockers slacks and poly-cotton blend short-sleeved dress shirts that he will wear for the rest of his life.
The boy has reportedly already made his pilgrimage to a local Supercuts and received the customary hairstyle of his order: the $14 shampoo-and-trim special.
"It will not be an easy path for him," company spokesperson Rachel Klein said. "He will face many tests of high employee turnover as well as cus-tomer accusations of missing side orders. And only by intuition will he know when to order the changing of the oil in the deep fryers; that is something that cannot be taught."
Despite the new manager's youth and inexperience, followers have already gathered at KFC's eastern Georgia offices to seek his advice.
"I have traveled more than 15 miles to find answers to some very difficult questions," said Tim Cleary, night manager of a franchise in Statesboro. "I hope the new Roger Purcell can help me to become enlightened concerning many things I have often wondered about."
"Like why I have to get approval for time-sheet changes from [day manager] Beth [Reardon]," Cleary added.
The Chosen One, kindergartner Brian Thorson, was located by a special council of seven High Branch Managers selected from the most profitable KFC restaurants nationwide. In accordance with tradition, the boy will henceforth be known as Roger Purcell, the ceremonial title given to all who have previously overseen operations in eastern Georgia.
His Eminence Dan Orman, who supervises the Wilshire Boulevard franchise in downtown Los Angeles, told reporters the search for the reborn manager began Jan. 23, 2005, when the previous Roger Purcell died of a massive heart attack.
"We watched carefully to see which direction the winds would take the smoke billowing forth from the fryer exhaust fan at the Waycross, GA location," said Orman, whose council set out on a long Midwestern journey after receiving the sign. "We interviewed hundreds of boys born that Jan. 23, but only Brian possessed a preternatural knowledge of the average monthly napkin orders generally needed for the six restaurants he will soon oversee."
"Rejoice, for before us is he who is destined to give guidance and impart wisdom to all who work at KFC locations east of Macon!" Orman added.
Several High Branch Mangers confirmed the child was subjected to a battery of tests to determine if he was in fact the reincarnated supervisor of restaurants 234 through 239. As with all candidates, Brian was seated at a table and asked to choose from a wide array of objects, including a stapler, a stained necktie, a spork, and various other personal effects.
Orman told reporters the young boy's hand moved immediately to a spray can of Right Guard, the sole item before him that had in fact belonged to the last Roger Purcell.
"Brian also picked up the rubber stamp used to approve payroll as if he had been handling it his entire life," Orman said. "After he recited without hesitation each of the 11 herbs and spices in the colonel's secret recipe, there could not be any doubt left in my mind."
According to sacred interoffice memos, the first earthly embodiment of Roger Purcell was born Jim Stephens in 1957. The son of a simple insurance salesman, Stephens was discovered by emissaries traveling east on behalf of company founder Colonel Harland Sanders, who in 1960 had a dream-vision of a glimmering red-and-white Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise by the sea.
When the young Stephens was found on the Georgia shore selling buckets of biscuits for a nickel, Sanders ordered the prophesied restaurant be built on the spot and soon added biscuits as a menu item.
Like the incarnations before him, the new Roger Purcell has been taken from his family and sequestered in a regional training facility to receive instruction on how to implement revised conduct codes and limited-time-only promotions handed down from corporate. While there, KFC officials confirmed, he will be adorned in the traditional vestments of Dockers slacks and poly-cotton blend short-sleeved dress shirts that he will wear for the rest of his life.
The boy has reportedly already made his pilgrimage to a local Supercuts and received the customary hairstyle of his order: the $14 shampoo-and-trim special.
"It will not be an easy path for him," company spokesperson Rachel Klein said. "He will face many tests of high employee turnover as well as cus-tomer accusations of missing side orders. And only by intuition will he know when to order the changing of the oil in the deep fryers; that is something that cannot be taught."
Despite the new manager's youth and inexperience, followers have already gathered at KFC's eastern Georgia offices to seek his advice.
"I have traveled more than 15 miles to find answers to some very difficult questions," said Tim Cleary, night manager of a franchise in Statesboro. "I hope the new Roger Purcell can help me to become enlightened concerning many things I have often wondered about."
"Like why I have to get approval for time-sheet changes from [day manager] Beth [Reardon]," Cleary added.
What's Really in Your Halloween Candy?
Salem, MA The annual Trick or Treat tradition has been dampened by tales of twisted psychopaths doling out poisoned candy and razor-blade-filled apples to unsuspecting cherubs. Each year local media feature lurid segments about tampering and recommend herding our little ones to parties instead of door-to-door.
But is there any rational basis for these warnings, or is it just a combination of urban legend and heightened national paranoia? Let's examine the facts:
Who can you trust?
No one. It was never a good idea to leave the well-being of your children to the mercy of strangers. But the dangers have increased exponentially since Nine-Eleven. That innocent-looking apartment or trailer home may very well contain a nest of sleeper-cell terrorists.
Should you examine all treats under X-ray?
Definitely. Many communities offer a free CAT scan of your kiddie's Halloween stash. A dangerous syringe can be concealed easily in a Twinkie [evidenced below], Butterfinger, Chick-O-Stick or Jolly Rancher. It is an unfortunate fact that most candies are produced in third-world countries with little or no sanitation enforcement. Many confectioners are located near medical waste dumps.
If possible, irradiate all fruit, cheese and baked goods - cookies, cupcakes, pies, etc. Another option is to microwave the goodies. Twelve to fifteen minutes on the highest setting should do the trick. Deep-frying will also render most contaminates inert.
Chocolates and Mints:
One word: Ex-Lax. The odds are one-in-four that a "fun size" candy bar has been replaced with a powerful cathartic. It's almost impossible for the untrained eye to distinguish between a Milk Dud and a suppository.
It's common knowledge that green M&Ms are an aphrodisiac. Be sure to locate these and remove them from the package as soon as your child comes home. If you decide to store them, keep them safely hidden from curious teenagers.
Open, examine and smell all Tootsie Rolls. They could just as easily be dog or cat feces.
Hard Candies:
Jawbreakers have a 36% likelihood to explode. (Why do you think they're called "jaw breakers"?) The long-lasting pleasure of enjoying this treat isn't worth the risk of permanent facial disfigurement.
Never eat a lollipop while driving. Hundreds of people are killed or injured each year when their car's airbag deploys, forcing the deadly projectile down their windpipe.
Life Savers? The name alone should send a chill down the spine of any vigilant parent.
Bubble Gum:
Not only does chewing gum promote tooth decay, it takes seven years to pass through the digestive system if swallowed. So your child will be in college before recovering from its effects. Also keep in mind, terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden owns a monopoly of the gum arabic supply. When you chew gum, you chew with Osama.
Misc Caveats:
Little "Mikey" of Life Cereal fame died after mixing Pop Rocks with soda pop.
Some food colorants are made of ground-up insects and/or tropical bird droppings.
Is that really sugar in those Pixie Stix, or weaponized anthrax?
So-called "licorice rope" may be fashioned into a tiny noose, posing a hazard for toddlers. (It also has an unsettling resemblance to the Australia Black Python, the most venomous snake in the world.)
So keeping all these things in mind, enjoy a fun, safe and spoooooky Halloween. It could be your last.
Study: Abstinence-Only Lunch Programs Ineffective At Combating Teen Obesity
JULY 27, 2009 ISSUE 45•31
WASHINGTON—According to the findings of a recent Department of Health and Human Services study, school lunch programs that teach children to avoid all contact with food may not be an effective method of reducing teen obesity rates.
Students at Culver Junior High are taught the dangers of eating even one tater tot.
Despite the popularity of abstinence-only meal programs in schools across the country, the study found that children who were provided with no food at lunch and cautioned against eating at an early age were no less likely to become overweight than those who were provided with a well-rounded nutritional education.
Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius said the findings could adversely affect federal funding for all programs that tell kids "lunch is worth waiting for."
"There's no evidence to suggest that instructing teens not to chew, swallow, or even think about food is actually going to stop them from eating," Sebelius told reporters. "Let's face it: Kids are already eating. And not only during lunchtime. They're eating after school, at the mall, in their parents' basements. Pretending like it's not happening isn't going to make it go away."
"After all, they're teenagers," Sebelius continued. "Eating is practically the only thing on their minds."
Researchers tracked a random sampling of students who received an abstinence-only education, like those in the popular "None for Me!" lunch program at Woodbridge High School in Chicago, which encourages children to abstain from eating until after graduation.
A pledge to sustenance abstinence.
"Although these students were repeatedly warned about the evils of eating and made to take fasting pledges, the abstinence-only program did little to curb their overall appetite for food," the report read in part. "In fact, students at Woodbridge were nearly three times more likely to develop type 2 diabetes than children who were given a portion of meat, whole grains, and green vegetables, and then encouraged to skip dessert."
Perhaps more troubling, students who completed the abstinence-only program were reportedly unable to answer the simplest questions about their own digestive systems, and some as old as 17 still believed they could catch high blood pressure from their very first Snickers bar.
"Kids need to know the truth about food," said Sue Weber, a nutritionist. "It's irresponsible for these schools to fill their students with misinformation about the devil working through trans fats, instead of just saying to them, 'Look, I know eating that entire box of Cheez-Its might feel good now, but when you're older, you're going to wish you had gone for the salad.'"
Others argue that complete food abstinence sets an unrealistic standard for the nation's hungry teenagers.
"You can't just tell kids not to eat," said child psychologist Dr. Beth Garcia. "As children grow and their bodies begin to develop, they're going to have certain metabolic urges that are impossible to suppress. We should be giving our kids the tools they need to engage in safe, responsible eating. I'd hate for someone's first time to be with some greasy cheeseburger in the backseat of a car."
Garcia also urged parents to talk to their young children about food before it's too late.
Despite the study's findings, many parents continue to support abstinence-only lunch programs, claiming that it's their right to protect their children from knowing anything about calories for as long as possible.
"It's not the government's place to step in and tell my kids about food and how it's okay in moderation or whatever," said Woodbridge PTA member Steven Bray, a father of two students. "My son's going to learn how to eat the same way I did—by watching monkeys do it at the zoo."
Yesterday, President Obama called on the nation's public school system to work together with his administration to develop a more progressive lunch program that emphasizes healthy eating and discourages late-night snacking. But it remains unclear how students will adjust to the new, more honest nutritional approach.
"I'm never ever going to eat, because eating is wrong, and I'm worth more than a chicken sandwich with asparagus and rice pilaf," Woodbridge seventh-grader Tracey Holmes said. "I heard Jennifer Hines eats all the time, like 50 times a day. I heard she eats all her ice cream upside-down, though, so she doesn't get fat. That's how it works."
"It's really hard, though," Holmes added. "I get so hungry sometimes. Especially after hours and hours of unprotected sex."
Remember that satire is inseparable from the culture in which it is produced, and by extension the language. Our American satirical tradition stems from Britain. Take a look at what’s being written on the other side of the pond.
Gene therapy to help people get totally bladdered for less money
By Gary Stanton
Experts say the discovery of a “tipsy” gene that explains why some people get drunk quicker than others may one day pave the way for treatments allowing people to get totally arseholed for less than a fiver.
The gene, known as CYP2E1 lies on chromosome number 10, but scientists stressed last night that that you don’t want to be bothered about stuff like genes and that.
Lead researcher Professor Kirk Wilhelmsen said, “Seriously, I know me and you may have had our difficulties in the past, but you – yeah you – are my best fuckin’ pal in the whole wide world you know that?”
He went on to suggest that all this science was thirsty work and to come here and give us a kiss and that if we were quick enough we could probably make it down to the Dog & Duck just in time for last orders.
Tipsy Gene
Researchers made their discovery by studying 200 pairs of student siblings who had one parent whom they would describe as a ‘piss artist’.
The students were then given a heady mixture of absinthe, WKD and Bacardi Breezer with the effects monitored at regular intervals.
Those who had the gene performed better at a range of tasks including karaoke, talking loudly about philosophy while using an ATM, and transporting a fellow student across a busy dual carriageway using a shopping trolley.
Those lacking the tipsy gene exhibited far greater tolerance to alcohol but were much less fun to be around.
Professor Kurt Wilhelmsen continued, “‘The hope is that in these straitened times, CYP2E1 type drugs can be developed ..hic.. not as a prevence.. preferential.. preventative measure against alcoholism, but as a means of getting completely arseholed three times a week for the price of a fish supper.”
“Sadly, we’ll have to leave it there as I appear to have urinated in my trousers again.”
http://newsarse.com/
Hurricanes to lobby meteorologists for more intimidating names
As Hurricane Richard made landfall in Belize, Hurricanes everywhere have said people would take them more seriously if meteorologists started giving them more appropriate names, like Megatron, Napalm and Schwarzenegger.
Hurricane Richard is merely the latest in a long line of inappropriately named Hurricanes that sound more like guests at a middle-class dinner party than deadly storms.
As one storm expert explained, “Later this season we could have a Hurricane Paula, seriously. Sure, it might be capable of rampant monkey sex with an Aussie rock star, but it’s not the name for a storm that could kill thousands.”
“The most devastating Hurricane in living memory was called Katrina. KATRINA! Really? The most deadly hurricane in years should obviously have been called Hurricane Van Damme.”
Hurricane Names
The pro-Hurricane lobby have put together formal proposals for the reclassification of Hurricanes into groups that will finally mean something to non-weather experts.
Spokesperson Dwayne Williams told reporters, “We’ve spent months on this new scheme, so without further ado, I present the all new and improved Hurricane classification system.”
• Hurricane Simon Cowell - The most vile of storms, will pick up shit from around the country and blow it directly into your front room every weekend evening between eight and ten.
• Hurricane Katie Price - You don’t have to go looking for it, just stand around with a camera long enough and it will find you.
• Hurricane Financial Sector - Starts out nicely, helping you dry your clothes, then turns nasty and takes your house away.
• Hurricane Fritzl - A Hurricane that goes about its deadly business off the radar, with most of its damage done underground.
• Hurricane Rooney - Goes for the old people first, clean-up tends to cost at least £150,000 a week.
• Hurricane George Osborne - Has absolutely no idea what it’s doing, yet is immensely powerful. As a result is likely to cause misery for millions.
• Hurricane Daily Mail - Mainly full of hot air, will make a small number of ill-informed people disproportionately angry, but will be ignored by the majority who realise it’s completely harmless.
• Hurricane Benitez - Slow acting storm which takes several years to systematically destroy what might have taken decades to build, leaves behind a pile of crap before buggering off to somewhere much warmer.
• Hurricane Lib Dem - Dangerous storm likely to flip at a moment’s notice if it thinks it can become more powerful going in a different direction.
Despite the popularity of abstinence-only meal programs in schools across the country, the study found that children who were provided with no food at lunch and cautioned against eating at an early age were no less likely to become overweight than those who were provided with a well-rounded nutritional education.
Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius said the findings could adversely affect federal funding for all programs that tell kids "lunch is worth waiting for."
"There's no evidence to suggest that instructing teens not to chew, swallow, or even think about food is actually going to stop them from eating," Sebelius told reporters. "Let's face it: Kids are already eating. And not only during lunchtime. They're eating after school, at the mall, in their parents' basements. Pretending like it's not happening isn't going to make it go away."
"After all, they're teenagers," Sebelius continued. "Eating is practically the only thing on their minds."
Researchers tracked a random sampling of students who received an abstinence-only education, like those in the popular "None for Me!" lunch program at Woodbridge High School in Chicago, which encourages children to abstain from eating until after graduation.
A pledge to sustenance abstinence.
"Although these students were repeatedly warned about the evils of eating and made to take fasting pledges, the abstinence-only program did little to curb their overall appetite for food," the report read in part. "In fact, students at Woodbridge were nearly three times more likely to develop type 2 diabetes than children who were given a portion of meat, whole grains, and green vegetables, and then encouraged to skip dessert."
Perhaps more troubling, students who completed the abstinence-only program were reportedly unable to answer the simplest questions about their own digestive systems, and some as old as 17 still believed they could catch high blood pressure from their very first Snickers bar.
"Kids need to know the truth about food," said Sue Weber, a nutritionist. "It's irresponsible for these schools to fill their students with misinformation about the devil working through trans fats, instead of just saying to them, 'Look, I know eating that entire box of Cheez-Its might feel good now, but when you're older, you're going to wish you had gone for the salad.'"
Others argue that complete food abstinence sets an unrealistic standard for the nation's hungry teenagers.
"You can't just tell kids not to eat," said child psychologist Dr. Beth Garcia. "As children grow and their bodies begin to develop, they're going to have certain metabolic urges that are impossible to suppress. We should be giving our kids the tools they need to engage in safe, responsible eating. I'd hate for someone's first time to be with some greasy cheeseburger in the backseat of a car."
Garcia also urged parents to talk to their young children about food before it's too late.
Despite the study's findings, many parents continue to support abstinence-only lunch programs, claiming that it's their right to protect their children from knowing anything about calories for as long as possible.
"It's not the government's place to step in and tell my kids about food and how it's okay in moderation or whatever," said Woodbridge PTA member Steven Bray, a father of two students. "My son's going to learn how to eat the same way I did—by watching monkeys do it at the zoo."
Yesterday, President Obama called on the nation's public school system to work together with his administration to develop a more progressive lunch program that emphasizes healthy eating and discourages late-night snacking. But it remains unclear how students will adjust to the new, more honest nutritional approach.
"I'm never ever going to eat, because eating is wrong, and I'm worth more than a chicken sandwich with asparagus and rice pilaf," Woodbridge seventh-grader Tracey Holmes said. "I heard Jennifer Hines eats all the time, like 50 times a day. I heard she eats all her ice cream upside-down, though, so she doesn't get fat. That's how it works."
"It's really hard, though," Holmes added. "I get so hungry sometimes. Especially after hours and hours of unprotected sex."
Remember that satire is inseparable from the culture in which it is produced, and by extension the language. Our American satirical tradition stems from Britain. Take a look at what’s being written on the other side of the pond.
Gene therapy to help people get totally bladdered for less money
By Gary Stanton
Experts say the discovery of a “tipsy” gene that explains why some people get drunk quicker than others may one day pave the way for treatments allowing people to get totally arseholed for less than a fiver.
The gene, known as CYP2E1 lies on chromosome number 10, but scientists stressed last night that that you don’t want to be bothered about stuff like genes and that.
Lead researcher Professor Kirk Wilhelmsen said, “Seriously, I know me and you may have had our difficulties in the past, but you – yeah you – are my best fuckin’ pal in the whole wide world you know that?”
He went on to suggest that all this science was thirsty work and to come here and give us a kiss and that if we were quick enough we could probably make it down to the Dog & Duck just in time for last orders.
Tipsy Gene
Researchers made their discovery by studying 200 pairs of student siblings who had one parent whom they would describe as a ‘piss artist’.
The students were then given a heady mixture of absinthe, WKD and Bacardi Breezer with the effects monitored at regular intervals.
Those who had the gene performed better at a range of tasks including karaoke, talking loudly about philosophy while using an ATM, and transporting a fellow student across a busy dual carriageway using a shopping trolley.
Those lacking the tipsy gene exhibited far greater tolerance to alcohol but were much less fun to be around.
Professor Kurt Wilhelmsen continued, “‘The hope is that in these straitened times, CYP2E1 type drugs can be developed ..hic.. not as a prevence.. preferential.. preventative measure against alcoholism, but as a means of getting completely arseholed three times a week for the price of a fish supper.”
“Sadly, we’ll have to leave it there as I appear to have urinated in my trousers again.”
http://newsarse.com/
Hurricanes to lobby meteorologists for more intimidating names
As Hurricane Richard made landfall in Belize, Hurricanes everywhere have said people would take them more seriously if meteorologists started giving them more appropriate names, like Megatron, Napalm and Schwarzenegger.
Hurricane Richard is merely the latest in a long line of inappropriately named Hurricanes that sound more like guests at a middle-class dinner party than deadly storms.
As one storm expert explained, “Later this season we could have a Hurricane Paula, seriously. Sure, it might be capable of rampant monkey sex with an Aussie rock star, but it’s not the name for a storm that could kill thousands.”
“The most devastating Hurricane in living memory was called Katrina. KATRINA! Really? The most deadly hurricane in years should obviously have been called Hurricane Van Damme.”
Hurricane Names
The pro-Hurricane lobby have put together formal proposals for the reclassification of Hurricanes into groups that will finally mean something to non-weather experts.
Spokesperson Dwayne Williams told reporters, “We’ve spent months on this new scheme, so without further ado, I present the all new and improved Hurricane classification system.”
• Hurricane Simon Cowell - The most vile of storms, will pick up shit from around the country and blow it directly into your front room every weekend evening between eight and ten.
• Hurricane Katie Price - You don’t have to go looking for it, just stand around with a camera long enough and it will find you.
• Hurricane Financial Sector - Starts out nicely, helping you dry your clothes, then turns nasty and takes your house away.
• Hurricane Fritzl - A Hurricane that goes about its deadly business off the radar, with most of its damage done underground.
• Hurricane Rooney - Goes for the old people first, clean-up tends to cost at least £150,000 a week.
• Hurricane George Osborne - Has absolutely no idea what it’s doing, yet is immensely powerful. As a result is likely to cause misery for millions.
• Hurricane Daily Mail - Mainly full of hot air, will make a small number of ill-informed people disproportionately angry, but will be ignored by the majority who realise it’s completely harmless.
• Hurricane Benitez - Slow acting storm which takes several years to systematically destroy what might have taken decades to build, leaves behind a pile of crap before buggering off to somewhere much warmer.
• Hurricane Lib Dem - Dangerous storm likely to flip at a moment’s notice if it thinks it can become more powerful going in a different direction.
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